Friday, September 15, 2006

That platinum'll soak into your brain, they tell me

I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve it, because I’m certain she does, but it’s just a jarring sight to see two people gossiping so openly, right there in front of their subject.

Here’s what Beth S. posed to Jennie, with my comments in brackets.

“I’ve just come back from visiting my love who is a freshman at the State University, and my head is a-buzz. [Snort.] In order not to be a spectacle (you see, I’m still in high school and I knew I’d be competing with droves of smooth college girls), I changed the naïve hair-do I usually wear, did over my little-girl nails and bought myself my first pack of cigarettes.” [I’m supposed to believe that, up until this trip to the creatively named State U., this trollop looked like Ralph Monroe from “Green Acres,” had a “naïve” hair-do, whatever that is, and had never bought a pack of Lucky Strikes? Don’t yank my chain, Daddy-O.] When I arrived I realized I had overdone it completely. [Because college boys can’t stand a showy girl. Turns them right off.] The wrong clothes weren’t my only worry. For instance, I only nodded to the chaperones, but I wonder whether this was rude. How big a tip should I have left the ladies’ room attendant? And should I have paid for any of my meals? [And what about that knife-fight in the Sigma Sigma Beta lobby? Is it customary to stanch the bleeding when you’ve just cut open a debutante with your homemade shiv because she stepped on your stilletto heels?]

1 Comments:

Blogger Jenn Doucette said...

you are so stinking funny

9:03 PM  

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