Friday, September 15, 2006

Horrors! Mother makes me date!

Smut! Smutty smut, right there in the pages of an etiquette magazine! Why, this should be sold behind the counter at that seemy gas station where all the young hipsters hang out.

The copy: “Can you tell me why parents are so absolutely heartless on the subject of going steady? I am really in love with Jack, a boy at school. Nevertheless, Mother insists that I accept any other dates I’m offered and that I see Jack only once a week.

She’s afraid that if we see each other too often we’d be tempted to over-indulge in love-making. She has a point. There have been nights recently when we’ve been alone in his car—when good resolutions have looked pale.

What should people like Jack and me do, who only enjoy each other’s company and yet who are a temptation for each other? We plan to be married some day, and so is there any real point in our clinging so desperately to chastity?”

Not if a awkward backward smooch is what you call lovemaking.

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